Preparing Myself For The Inevitable

With mixed feelings of elation, trepidation, love, fear, and anticipation, I have spent half a day reading birth stories, watching birthing DVD's and texting with a friend about the reality of my having a baby soon. I am so excited to meet my second baby girl. But I am also quite distracted from that by thoughts of how exactly it will eventually happen. My first experience with labor and delivery of Nova Alexandra was unforgettable! But it was not what I expected. I suppose it never is. But this time around, will it be easier? More intense? Less interesting? Less painful? Will I have complications? Give in to interventions? Take a bunch of drugs? Have another C-Section? Or will this second baby of mine be born more 'naturally'?

I can tell you what would be my perfect dream situation: I go into labor one or two weeks before due date (Feb 7, 20123). My mom and Brett's mom get on airplanes and fly to San Francisco. I labor at home for a while with Brett and Nova. I eat a great big yummy meal that someone has made for me. I take a bath. Do my hair and makeup so I look perfect (fantasy alert). Go to UCSF hospital with Brett and Nova. My brother, Eddy, and my friend, Cherlyn, meet us there. The grandmothers meet us there. Everyone is there! They can help with Nova; she is happy and a good girl (another fantasy alert)! I labor in a fancy, cozy room with an awesome view of The City, GG Park, USF, the Bridges, the Bay. Cherlyn is my doula. Brett is my birth partner. We do great! Then I have a 'natural' birth and immediately get to hold my baby girl... [oh, it is so hard not to tell you her name! Brett wants to keep it secret, and I know this is best, but I so want to tell the world! We have not decided on a middle name, but have known her first name for months!] She is born, and we all feel wonderful and the grandmas and Nova and my brother are there and my phone won't stop ringing cuz everyone else is calling to congratulate us! My sisters, Maria and Becky, show up! More friends come to visit us. We all live happily ever after.

YEAH, RIGHT! HAHAHA. Some fairy tale. Can't wait to compare it to reality.

Below are stills taken from the two DVD's I watched this morning. Feeling empowered and trying to convince myself that I won't need an epidural this time, which would most likely lead to a long spiral of other medical things that are uncomfortable and undignified. I say this now, knowing full well that I am a sucker for drugs and a good body high. But I want the ultimate high! If I can get it.

Hormones, Headaches, & Kidney Stones

I may be feeling ok today (so far) but just about every other day in the past week I was what you'd call a nervous wreck. I've broken down into fits of tears, laid on the floor depressed and afraid, called my Mommy and my husband at their offices sobbing uncontrollably and completely indecipherable, poured a strawberry yogurt smoothy down the front AND back of my body, ran away crying from a stupid  '80's Netflix movie, yelled at my poor two year old child, got into a fight with our landlord and also managed to spend all of my husband's last paycheck.
I am pretty sure rapidly fluctuating pregnancy hormones are to blame for the bad moments. I wonder when they will begin to normalize again? Cuz my poor family is getting a bit worried. And I am worn right out. Even the internet stresses me out. I can't read, write, cook, or shower. I am useless. But not really.... it just seems like it to my manic brain chemicals.
Unrelated to my mind problems, I am passing kidney stones left and right this year! I've thrown two in as many weeks. I did some research and it seems maybe pregnancy can cause more than my usual formation of them. Great. Bonus! They don't hurt that bad but are annoying and make me feel sorry for myself. I did find a funny web community called KidneyStoners.org though. And I'm getting some tests done and being referred to a urologist. Oh. Heachaches too. Almost every day. I hope I don't get high-blood pressure or anything. My friend in Denver just had her baby girl a month early because her pre-eclampsia was ruining her liver. But they are all ok, thank god. <3 p="p">What else... on a happy note, I started Prenatal Yoga classes and I absolutely love them. I look forward to Thursday mornings now. I also love Saturday mornings when I get to take Nova to ballet class. It makes her so happy. And I am so proud of her.
Brett feels the baby move a lot now when he puts his hand on my belly. I'm now in the third trimester and it's getting pretty real that I'll be having a baby soon. I started a baby registry online and my great friend, Summer, is beginning to plan a girlie baby shower for me. I am blessed really. And I'm able to see that - even though I mostly just complain. I love my life! Really I do! And my friends, and my family, and my baby girls most of all.

Week 27 baby belly

Still 10 weeks to go to full term. Can't imagine how big I'll be by then!

a week of fun madness

I am 26 weeks pregnant. And not acting like it one bit. In fact, I have been acting like a maniac and having tons of fun while doing it this past week! At the expense of my poor muscles, overwhelmed brain, and baby-in-utero's tiny little heart rate perhaps.

Last weekend we drove to Anaheim, CA for Nova's first Disneyland Adventure. We had a great time! Stayed at The Sheraton Anaheim with Brett's brother, Eric, his wife, Haley, and Nova's cousin, Ellen Jane. After a long day of driving, we had dinner and wandered around Downtown Disney, watched fireworks. Sunday all day in Disneyland, followed by dinner at Benihana (best dinner ever: Nova loved the cooking and food, then danced around the restaurant like a crazy party girl.) Next day, half-day in CA Adventure Park with a highlight of an Aladin Musical performance. Then another couple hours in D-Land including Nemo, Pirates and a Parade, and dinner at Ariel's Grotto where the little ones got to meet all the Princesses. More time wandering CA Adventure Park and finally rest at the hotel. Did I mention I rode two terrifying rides that day? Oh, pregnant women are def NOT supposed to do that. In both cases I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I nearly gave myself and my baby inside a heart attack twice that day. But it was fun! Tues morning we had a "Character Breakfast" buffet at the Grand Californian Hotel then drove all the way back home. Upon returning we did not rest, but carved pumpkins and made dinner! For the next day was Halloween! First day home, I should probably have been resting while Brett was at work and Nova at daycare. But no - I drove to The City for a Prenatal Apt and Glucose Test. Then I parked the car in the Inner Sunset and took a bus and then an underground metro into downtown. There I met up with my big brother, Eddy, at his office on the 9th Floor of the Flood Building. We watched the hugest, loudest, most exciting parade ever in SF history: The 2012 World Series Champions Parade for the Giants! (for their 2nd win in 3 years!) Super cool experience but hanging out of a window 9 stories up, looking down on Market Street is probably also NOT something a pregnant woman should be doing! Hence more near heart attacks. Had lunch with my brother and went shopping, then smashed myself into a crowded metro and headed back to my car. When I got off the train I had to pee sooo bad so I ran into a random bar on Irving Street and used their bathroom. Of course a small kidney stone popped out and I fished it out of the toilet, washed it and kept it to give my doctor. (I pass these about every six months, people. Don't worry about me, I am a pro and have been dealing with this since I was 12. Yes, gross. Yes, painful. But does it stop me? Hell No.) Barely made it back to Pacifica in time to pick up Nova from daycare. Took her home, dressed her up like a black cat, decorated the house for trick-or-treaters to notice us, and made dinner. When Brett got home he took out our 'little black cat' to get candy (he missed last year so it's great he was able to trick-or-treat with Nova on his own this time.) Yesterday housework, bills and groceries, babysat Nova's friend, Toggi, and had taco night with Brett. Today, slept in!!!!! Then house work, tons of emails and PMC work. Getting ready now to go babysit Nova's cousin, Ben in San Francisco cuz it's my brother's birthday and he and Dena are going out on the town. Hopefully Nova and Ben go to bed somewhat easily tonight. But I doubt it. Tomorrow Nova has ballet class in the morning. After that, I may just die of exhaustion. Or take Nova to the beach! :D

Do you think I'm overdoing it just a bit?