Holiday Hemeroids! And clock is ticking!

Merry Christmas! I have hemeroids and constipation, headaches and terrible heartburn. Being pregnant rules!

Also, I've been having Braxton Hicks contractions mulitiple times a day. I've had them since the second trimester started, but now they come with a pretty sweet surge of Oxitocin hormone. This makes me feel really light-headed and kinda drugged up for a minute. The waves of hormones give me hot flashes too. Fun times!

Sleeping is impossible because I can barely move my bulk from side to side in an effort to get comfortable. Nova still won't sleep in her room alone since we converted her bed to toddler style. And a week at my mom's house didn't help her training since she got to sleep every night in one big bed between mommy and daddy.

There is precious time left to get the house ready for our new arrival. I am 34.5 weeks in, leaving only 2 weeks til full term, and 5 weeks max til delivery time. Hopefully we will be getting a mini crib for Nova's room, but won't really need it for a while. We plan on setting up the same pretty pack-n-play that Nova used her first few weeks in our room for a few months. I hope to also get a glider chair to nurse in. But they ones I like ae so freaking expensive.

Midwife appointments are now every two weeks apart. One tomorrow and then they go to once a week. Reality is seting in (at least for me; I don't think Brett really gets it yet) that this baby will be coming into our physical lives very soon!

Week 32

This blog is about a pregnancy. Mine. The little baby inside. I'm trying to focus on her right now. But it's the holiday season! And also we are trying to sleep train Nova to use her toddler bed. And I have a cold. So no one is getting enough sleep in our house and we are all a bit out of sorts. Still, I am obsessed with this pregnancy as it will most likely be my last. And I just can't wait to meet my new daughter.
One of my oldest bestest friends in SF is Summer and she has planned for me a super chic, girlie baby shower! It will be Jan 12th at Lovie's tea a shoppe in Noe Valley. So looking forward to that because I love getting my girlfriends together. Wish my far away girls could also come but I know it is so expensive to travel these days. Thank you, Summer, for all you've done and will do for the shower! I appreciate it and love you so much!
I have made arrangements to tour and get an orientation at UCSF's maternity ward. Brett and I will go and so will Cherlyn Wagner, who will be my doula and our major support person through labor and delivery. Cherlyn is a great friend married to one of my best friends from my old college days. Their family has become our family and we are so blessed to have them so near and involved in our lives. Here is a photo Cherlyn took of Nova touching so gently her baby sister in my belly. Merry Christmas!

Preparing Myself For The Inevitable

With mixed feelings of elation, trepidation, love, fear, and anticipation, I have spent half a day reading birth stories, watching birthing DVD's and texting with a friend about the reality of my having a baby soon. I am so excited to meet my second baby girl. But I am also quite distracted from that by thoughts of how exactly it will eventually happen. My first experience with labor and delivery of Nova Alexandra was unforgettable! But it was not what I expected. I suppose it never is. But this time around, will it be easier? More intense? Less interesting? Less painful? Will I have complications? Give in to interventions? Take a bunch of drugs? Have another C-Section? Or will this second baby of mine be born more 'naturally'?

I can tell you what would be my perfect dream situation: I go into labor one or two weeks before due date (Feb 7, 20123). My mom and Brett's mom get on airplanes and fly to San Francisco. I labor at home for a while with Brett and Nova. I eat a great big yummy meal that someone has made for me. I take a bath. Do my hair and makeup so I look perfect (fantasy alert). Go to UCSF hospital with Brett and Nova. My brother, Eddy, and my friend, Cherlyn, meet us there. The grandmothers meet us there. Everyone is there! They can help with Nova; she is happy and a good girl (another fantasy alert)! I labor in a fancy, cozy room with an awesome view of The City, GG Park, USF, the Bridges, the Bay. Cherlyn is my doula. Brett is my birth partner. We do great! Then I have a 'natural' birth and immediately get to hold my baby girl... [oh, it is so hard not to tell you her name! Brett wants to keep it secret, and I know this is best, but I so want to tell the world! We have not decided on a middle name, but have known her first name for months!] She is born, and we all feel wonderful and the grandmas and Nova and my brother are there and my phone won't stop ringing cuz everyone else is calling to congratulate us! My sisters, Maria and Becky, show up! More friends come to visit us. We all live happily ever after.

YEAH, RIGHT! HAHAHA. Some fairy tale. Can't wait to compare it to reality.

Below are stills taken from the two DVD's I watched this morning. Feeling empowered and trying to convince myself that I won't need an epidural this time, which would most likely lead to a long spiral of other medical things that are uncomfortable and undignified. I say this now, knowing full well that I am a sucker for drugs and a good body high. But I want the ultimate high! If I can get it.

Hormones, Headaches, & Kidney Stones

I may be feeling ok today (so far) but just about every other day in the past week I was what you'd call a nervous wreck. I've broken down into fits of tears, laid on the floor depressed and afraid, called my Mommy and my husband at their offices sobbing uncontrollably and completely indecipherable, poured a strawberry yogurt smoothy down the front AND back of my body, ran away crying from a stupid  '80's Netflix movie, yelled at my poor two year old child, got into a fight with our landlord and also managed to spend all of my husband's last paycheck.
I am pretty sure rapidly fluctuating pregnancy hormones are to blame for the bad moments. I wonder when they will begin to normalize again? Cuz my poor family is getting a bit worried. And I am worn right out. Even the internet stresses me out. I can't read, write, cook, or shower. I am useless. But not really.... it just seems like it to my manic brain chemicals.
Unrelated to my mind problems, I am passing kidney stones left and right this year! I've thrown two in as many weeks. I did some research and it seems maybe pregnancy can cause more than my usual formation of them. Great. Bonus! They don't hurt that bad but are annoying and make me feel sorry for myself. I did find a funny web community called KidneyStoners.org though. And I'm getting some tests done and being referred to a urologist. Oh. Heachaches too. Almost every day. I hope I don't get high-blood pressure or anything. My friend in Denver just had her baby girl a month early because her pre-eclampsia was ruining her liver. But they are all ok, thank god. <3 p="p">What else... on a happy note, I started Prenatal Yoga classes and I absolutely love them. I look forward to Thursday mornings now. I also love Saturday mornings when I get to take Nova to ballet class. It makes her so happy. And I am so proud of her.
Brett feels the baby move a lot now when he puts his hand on my belly. I'm now in the third trimester and it's getting pretty real that I'll be having a baby soon. I started a baby registry online and my great friend, Summer, is beginning to plan a girlie baby shower for me. I am blessed really. And I'm able to see that - even though I mostly just complain. I love my life! Really I do! And my friends, and my family, and my baby girls most of all.

Week 27 baby belly

Still 10 weeks to go to full term. Can't imagine how big I'll be by then!

a week of fun madness

I am 26 weeks pregnant. And not acting like it one bit. In fact, I have been acting like a maniac and having tons of fun while doing it this past week! At the expense of my poor muscles, overwhelmed brain, and baby-in-utero's tiny little heart rate perhaps.

Last weekend we drove to Anaheim, CA for Nova's first Disneyland Adventure. We had a great time! Stayed at The Sheraton Anaheim with Brett's brother, Eric, his wife, Haley, and Nova's cousin, Ellen Jane. After a long day of driving, we had dinner and wandered around Downtown Disney, watched fireworks. Sunday all day in Disneyland, followed by dinner at Benihana (best dinner ever: Nova loved the cooking and food, then danced around the restaurant like a crazy party girl.) Next day, half-day in CA Adventure Park with a highlight of an Aladin Musical performance. Then another couple hours in D-Land including Nemo, Pirates and a Parade, and dinner at Ariel's Grotto where the little ones got to meet all the Princesses. More time wandering CA Adventure Park and finally rest at the hotel. Did I mention I rode two terrifying rides that day? Oh, pregnant women are def NOT supposed to do that. In both cases I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I nearly gave myself and my baby inside a heart attack twice that day. But it was fun! Tues morning we had a "Character Breakfast" buffet at the Grand Californian Hotel then drove all the way back home. Upon returning we did not rest, but carved pumpkins and made dinner! For the next day was Halloween! First day home, I should probably have been resting while Brett was at work and Nova at daycare. But no - I drove to The City for a Prenatal Apt and Glucose Test. Then I parked the car in the Inner Sunset and took a bus and then an underground metro into downtown. There I met up with my big brother, Eddy, at his office on the 9th Floor of the Flood Building. We watched the hugest, loudest, most exciting parade ever in SF history: The 2012 World Series Champions Parade for the Giants! (for their 2nd win in 3 years!) Super cool experience but hanging out of a window 9 stories up, looking down on Market Street is probably also NOT something a pregnant woman should be doing! Hence more near heart attacks. Had lunch with my brother and went shopping, then smashed myself into a crowded metro and headed back to my car. When I got off the train I had to pee sooo bad so I ran into a random bar on Irving Street and used their bathroom. Of course a small kidney stone popped out and I fished it out of the toilet, washed it and kept it to give my doctor. (I pass these about every six months, people. Don't worry about me, I am a pro and have been dealing with this since I was 12. Yes, gross. Yes, painful. But does it stop me? Hell No.) Barely made it back to Pacifica in time to pick up Nova from daycare. Took her home, dressed her up like a black cat, decorated the house for trick-or-treaters to notice us, and made dinner. When Brett got home he took out our 'little black cat' to get candy (he missed last year so it's great he was able to trick-or-treat with Nova on his own this time.) Yesterday housework, bills and groceries, babysat Nova's friend, Toggi, and had taco night with Brett. Today, slept in!!!!! Then house work, tons of emails and PMC work. Getting ready now to go babysit Nova's cousin, Ben in San Francisco cuz it's my brother's birthday and he and Dena are going out on the town. Hopefully Nova and Ben go to bed somewhat easily tonight. But I doubt it. Tomorrow Nova has ballet class in the morning. After that, I may just die of exhaustion. Or take Nova to the beach! :D

Do you think I'm overdoing it just a bit?

Much Delay in Posting

I can't figure out exactly why, but I've had no discipline to write much in the past month. I'm sorry, baby girl inside me, that I haven't been keeping up with your journal as much as I could be. Please let me make it up to you someday!

I went to Oregon for a few days to visit my little sister. We bonded and stuff. Brett stayed home with Nova and they bonded too of course! And since I've been back home, we have just been so so busy! Brett's work at Rdio has been somewhat grueling for him. So he's been stressed out a lot. The PMC (Pacifica Mothers' Club) has been keeping me busy and sometimes stressed as well. But I'm so glad I have the club to keep me focused on my job - that is Mothering!  

I had a Midwife appointment three weeks ago and got a flu shot. Of course it made me a bit sick right after. But then I was fine until two days ago, when I started getting a scratchy throat and bad cough. I has a mild fever yesterday which broke quickly during a nap. Now I am recovering and taking it easy so that this weekend I can fully enjoy our trip to Disneyland! Saturday will be the 5-year Anniversary of the day I married Brett. D-Land is not exactly how I imagined we'd be sending our very romantic 5-year milestone of marriage, but it is what we are doing. We wanted to take Nova there before she turned three (because we are cheap and she doesn't have to pay to get in). And Brett's brother is taking his family there this week, so we planned to join up with them, which will make it a lot more fun for Nova as her cousin, Ellen, will also be there with us. I do hope though, that Brett and I can remember that this is an important weekend for us. And I hope he knows that I love him above all else in the world. 

As for the baby growing inside me, she seems really healthy. Since her placenta is posterior, there is not much cushioning between her and my belly, so I feel everything she does. One funny thing is that whenever Chango (the cat, 12 years old) lays against me on the couch, the baby girl starts kicking at him really hard! It is super funny, because it seems like she knows he's right there leaning against her. Perhaps she feels his subtle purring and heartbeat. Nova did that a few times too when she was inside, but nothing like this. *Also, Brett and I are pretty sure we have chosen a a first name for her. NOw I am trying to figure out her middle name. But don't ask, please. We are not telling! :)

I treated myself to a PreNatal Massage last week as I was feeling pretty stressed out and all tight in the muscles. My therapist is so great. She is 7 months pregnant herself and she is the owner of Ocean Yoga, which is a beautiful little studio very near my house. I was going to yoga there for a month with a super cheap new student discount, but when that month trial membership ran out, Brett and I decided it was too much money for me to keep going. So I intend to get a DVD or something to do at home, because I really need to keep up my strength and flexibility if I wanna successful VBAC experience.

That reminds me - I watched all 4 episodes of More Business of Being Born on Netflix. They are follow-up documentaries made by Ricki Lake and her good friend who together also made a full-length Business of Being Born film a few years ago. I watched that one right after Nova was born when I was still on maternity leave. These are very informative films about the controversies surrounding hospital births, home births, C-Sections and Prenatal care. I recommend all pregnant women watch them so they can see that there are more options out there than the typical Western Medicine/Hospital-based deliveries of babies in our country. The VBAC thing is very important to me (as I mentioned very early on in this blog) because I don't want another section. I want a chance to be the first one to hold this child when she is born. I want her to see me and smell me and snuggle with me first. Brett got that chance with Nova and I am so happy that they had that bond. Hope I am so lucky.

Half-Way Point

We are 20 weeks in (21 tomorrow) and all is well.

The little one inside is very active and responsive to my eating (or lack-there-of) habits. If I haven't eaten in a while, she lets me know it's time to do so by kicking me right in the bladder. And usually after dinner and dessert she happily rewards me with a seemingly raucous dance party.

I had a strange impulse this past week to apply for a part-time job. It was very all-of-a-sudden and was over just as quickly as it began. There was a position open in the Disney Pixar library/archives which I was made aware of by an old friend who works in Pixar's IT Dept. So I spent an entire day and night working on a resume, the application, cover letter, got two Pixar friends to refer me internally and send emails on my behalf. The next morning, I was contacted by Pixar saying the position had already been taken. Whew! That was close. And all very exhausting. Disappointing to a degree because I know I was super qualified for it. Anyway, my heart was not really in it 100%; I don't really wanna get into a situation that leaves my unborn baby girl already on a waiting list for infant daycare. My intention has always been for her to stay home with me until she is walking and no longer nursing. I suppose the Pixar whirlwind was good practice for when the time comes for me to actually go back to work full-time.

For now, as was the original plan.... my work is at home, taking care of two beautiful little girls (one almost 3, one negative 20 weeks), and one wonderful, gorgeous man. And myself. Cannot forget that part.

Ultrasound pics, 19 wks

Three of these 4 ultrasounds have been rendered in 3-D! I know they look strange and alien, but as a mom, I think they are beautiful. Our little girl is a bit camera-shy! And her head is perfectly round. She may have a nose like her daddy! Can't wait to see her when she is born! (Secret Spoiler: We are pretty sure we know her first name already! Brett dreamed it before we even knew she was a girl!)

Emotions, Hunger, and Sleep? Crazy Town.

I am pregnant, yes. And that may have a lot or very little to do with the manic swings of happy and melancholy states I am lately finding myself to be in. I know it's impossible to determine. And luckily the bad moods and bouts of depression are light and quickly pass into something more normal and/or just pure exhaustion. Sleep. I think I need lots more of it. And Also, I probably shouldn't being pushing myself as hard as I have been to keep up with my daughter, my husband, and our friends. I do love getting out and doing things like walking, exploring, camping, hiking, beaching etc, and I know it's smart to get exercise and try to keep in shape. But dude! I am so tired all the time! So, sorry if I'm bitchy. But I'm trying to keep it together here, people. Cuz, all of a sudden, I am huge and fat and all my joints hurt and my muscles and ligaments are all tight and uncomfortable. And I'm so thirsty! So give me a bit of a break, ok. Ok. Thanks.

She likes Chocolate Donuts & Oreos

Well obviously. She is a girl! And part Vega. So chocolate foods are going to of course turn her right on. This baby is MOVING, people! I started feeling her kick or slam into the walls of my insides last week and it is so cool. An exciting reminder that she is healthy and growing and full of life!

Also, here is a first baby bump photo for you all to see. I am getting large. It's normal to grow way faster during a pregnancy when you already had a full-term one within recent years. So even though I am only 4.5 months preg, I look more like 6 months along.
(Yes, I know it is totally generic to take photos of myself with a cell phone! If you must know, my husband is working late at a "hack day". Don't ask me what that is.)

15 weeks, 4 days.

I am officially going to publish this whole bunch of blog posts about the Baby Girl Duncavage #2! I've been saviving drafts until all was well and ready to make public. We are so happy and excited to grow our family to size 4! Now you all know, so here goes the big blog post push!

Please go back in time to read all new post posts. And if you want a recap of my first pregnancy (Nova Alexandra), please feel free to go even further back in the blog to re-live that magical time as well.

Don't forget to FOLLOW THIS BLOG or just watch for post notices on my facebook page.

It's a Girl!!!

These ultrasound pics were taken during the CVS procedure - which was very uncomfortable and not a smooth operation, but did end up being successful at getting enough placental tissue to culture and test. The results were all negative for everything we tested for! That's very good news for us. Now we have nothing major to worry about! Annnnnd.... we found out she's a baby girl in there! Just what Brett and I were hoping for (although Nova wanted a baby brother, sorry my love).

Week 7.5

Brett and I had an apt today with a genetics councilor at UCSF. She surveyed us on our family histories and then gave us the low down on some options we have on how I and this fetus can be tested and screened for any chromosomal abnormalities. We decided to go ahead and schedule a CVS for three weeks from now. It will tell us most accurately whether or not we have anything to worry about. Since we don't want to worry at all and get going feeling all the happy exciting stuff about the pregnancy we think its worth it to find out asap. The CVS is a bit invasive as it requires cells and blood from the placenta. There is a 1/350 chance it could cause a miscarriage. But we are optimistic and not scared! An extra perk is we could find out the baby's sex right then! We are impatient people and like that.

Made it to 6 weeks!

All good signs so far of a viable preg. Whilst getting Nova ready for preschool yesterday I started to dry heave and had to run to the toilet twice to puke only saliva. Felt terrible so like I predicted last week, I'm eating my words. But felt better today if not completely exhausted! Nova is running circles around me and not napping. Now when I so need to nap myself. So I've been slamming lattes all day. I know I will need to cut down on caffeine but seriously cannot imagine life without it.

Ever so faint positive test.

Taken May 27, 2012 first thing in the morning.



It is said that there is no possibility of a false positive result on a pregnancy test. This is a photo of mine at 1.5 weeks after ovulation. I had taken one a few days before and the result was negative. I was bummed and got wasted for a couple days as is my usual way of handling disappointment.  Then I tried again and got a barely noticeable second pink line! Goes to show how just a tiny bit of HGC hormone can begin to show up on a urine-based test. FYI, a healthy pregnancy HCG count should double every day you are "with child".

Week "5"

So far, so good. I am officially one week past a missed period. I have stopped drinking my regular one alcoholic bev a day and am anxiously awaiting some fun signs of a healthy pregnancy. No "morning sickness" yet, and I know I will eat these words soon, but I am ready to get some cuz it's supposed to mean your hormones are doing their thing and creating the parts deep inside to allow the big bunch of baby cells to grow and thrive.
Now I am on the lookout for a good Midwife or OBGYN who will be willing to let me try a VBAC when (if) the time comes. Nova was born (c-section) in Denver under the Kaiser medical system. This time around we have a UCSF-based medical group as our primary family care (under coverage of Aetna Insurance). I am taking any and all advice from San Francisco Bay Area women on recommended prenatal care. Comment here please. Thanks!

"4" Weeks, No Jinx!

I'm going to begin again. Three years after I first began writing this blog. I won't publish any posts until I am quite sure this new pregnancy is viable. It will be my little secret for (hopefully) a few more weeks. And then (hopefully) I can let the world know our big news.
Brett and I have tried for another baby the last 5 months and now it seems we have been successful! Today I am 4 weeks pregnant, meaning of course, actually only 2 fetal age weeks. If this sticks and all goes well, I'll be going to a midwife or OB doc next month. I know I should be more nervous because we have had 2 miscarriages since 2008 - 1 a year before Nova was born and another 1 year after she was born. That second one may have been twins but, at about 7 weeks, growth stopped with no heartbeat(s). I had to have a D&C the week before Christmas. It was sad and really spooked Brett. So it took another full year for him to be ready to try again.
Here we are the last day of May, 2012! And I am not so nervous, but rather very excited! I hope this mother's intuition is telling me that there is nothing to worry about; that this pregnancy will last and the tiny poppy seed embryo inside me will be healthy and perfect. Oh please let this be true! I want another baby so bad! A little sibling for Nova and a child to love me as much as Nova loves her daddy. Fingers crossed....
Not publishing this yet. Saving as a draft until further notice. So as not to Jinx the situation. Stay tuned!