Preparing Myself For The Inevitable

With mixed feelings of elation, trepidation, love, fear, and anticipation, I have spent half a day reading birth stories, watching birthing DVD's and texting with a friend about the reality of my having a baby soon. I am so excited to meet my second baby girl. But I am also quite distracted from that by thoughts of how exactly it will eventually happen. My first experience with labor and delivery of Nova Alexandra was unforgettable! But it was not what I expected. I suppose it never is. But this time around, will it be easier? More intense? Less interesting? Less painful? Will I have complications? Give in to interventions? Take a bunch of drugs? Have another C-Section? Or will this second baby of mine be born more 'naturally'?

I can tell you what would be my perfect dream situation: I go into labor one or two weeks before due date (Feb 7, 20123). My mom and Brett's mom get on airplanes and fly to San Francisco. I labor at home for a while with Brett and Nova. I eat a great big yummy meal that someone has made for me. I take a bath. Do my hair and makeup so I look perfect (fantasy alert). Go to UCSF hospital with Brett and Nova. My brother, Eddy, and my friend, Cherlyn, meet us there. The grandmothers meet us there. Everyone is there! They can help with Nova; she is happy and a good girl (another fantasy alert)! I labor in a fancy, cozy room with an awesome view of The City, GG Park, USF, the Bridges, the Bay. Cherlyn is my doula. Brett is my birth partner. We do great! Then I have a 'natural' birth and immediately get to hold my baby girl... [oh, it is so hard not to tell you her name! Brett wants to keep it secret, and I know this is best, but I so want to tell the world! We have not decided on a middle name, but have known her first name for months!] She is born, and we all feel wonderful and the grandmas and Nova and my brother are there and my phone won't stop ringing cuz everyone else is calling to congratulate us! My sisters, Maria and Becky, show up! More friends come to visit us. We all live happily ever after.

YEAH, RIGHT! HAHAHA. Some fairy tale. Can't wait to compare it to reality.

Below are stills taken from the two DVD's I watched this morning. Feeling empowered and trying to convince myself that I won't need an epidural this time, which would most likely lead to a long spiral of other medical things that are uncomfortable and undignified. I say this now, knowing full well that I am a sucker for drugs and a good body high. But I want the ultimate high! If I can get it.